I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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