I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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