she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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