We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize