Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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