Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
