R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
