I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
