the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I need a burrito and a hug.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
