I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I faked an abortion last night.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
