well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
