if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
