So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just gargled with NyQuil
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
