Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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