Pappa wants mamma naked
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
