youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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