I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
