Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
