he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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