I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
3 2 1 whiskey
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
