I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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