never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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