She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
