sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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