help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize