I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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