I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Of course I have a pirate flag
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
