Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
