How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize