she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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