nut hugger
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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