absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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