why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Drunk is a universal language darling
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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