Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
