she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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