My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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