Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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