My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize