so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
my poor anus
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
