Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
