Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did