the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
my nose is crying tears of wow.