Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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