He had one of those small greek statue penises
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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