I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
