why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
