Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize