I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I won the penis lottery.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
