Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
