i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
