Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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