Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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