eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
