yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
