whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
