I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize