ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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