We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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