covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
