I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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