you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
