Moan for me like Helen Keller
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
