Define "chronic" masturbator.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
