the condom got lost in my hair
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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